Living in Utah, I have had many run-ins with Mormon Missionaries
. My personal favorite were the two Elder
s who came to my door about three times over the course of two weeks, always at the same time (about 8:00 AM). I am almost always asleep or in the shower at this time of the morning so at about visit number 3 I was starting to get more than a little pissed off
. On visit number four I decided that enough was enough. I answered the door in my bath-robe
wearing two and a half days growth on my face. Just to top it all off I stopped by the kitchen and grabbed a can a stale beer
that had been out from the previous night (I did this for effect, I don't drink) and a dish towel
. Then before I opened the door I grabbed the BB Gun
from the hall closet that resembles a .30-6. Now, with beer, towel and gun in hand I open the door to two very surpriesed looking Missionaries. I procead to put the beer on the table by the door and polish the barrel of the gun.
"Well, Whadayawant?" I snarled.
"Then get the hell off my lawn!"
I never saw them again.