Controlling Stubbornness

The control of everyday situations is an important step in mental growth. Reactions to people, events, or situations are challenges which can be the means of breaking down happiness in relationships with others.

Stubbornness is another branch of ego or self-centredness. It is the antithesis of intelligence, for it exemplifies an inflexible nature. Usually one becomes stubborn when "self" either does or does not want to do something. A rigidity in mind blocks reasoning and the emotion of self dominates through feeling. One may be persistent and carry through to completion in spite of obstacles, or may remain firm in opinion and be in a constructive plane of mind: the determining factor is intelligence and principle.

Or as the dictionary says: determined not to change one's attitude or position - having a strong will.

Stubbornness is the result of a negative, narrow, restricted perspective, centred around self interests. Instead one should think of being determined with a (larger and positive) goal.

Which is which you ask ? Now one knows ... it's simply a perception - just try to find your own balance. Though here are a few steps to help eliminate the negative effects of stubbornness:

  • Analyze and recognize the feeling and reaction of becoming non-cooperative, fixed in opinion, and apposed towards change or what is considered as "giving in."

  • Take a deep breath, relax the mind and body.

  • Ask yourself, "What is the intelligent thing to do ?"

  • Ask yourself, "Am I being selfish and inconsiderate ?"

  • Remove "self" and be as objective as possible in analyzing the most intelligent, principled conclusion.

  • Give in and be humble to the principle, as it indicates the most logical action. The important point to remember is, "It is what is right, not who is right."
A selfish quality such as stubbornness restricts one's personality. It actually limits your options.

What you keep to yourself you lose
what you give away, you keep forever.

~ Axel Munthe

As one gives, the mind is empowered by a natural quality of freedom and warmth and enjoys the love and respect of others.