How to outrun the cops (how-to)
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These are a few rules I have gained from stories collected over the years. What I am about to release are tactics that should [Never] be deployed against those [bumbling boys in blue]. No matter what. My [lawyer] remains adamant about informing you--the reader-- running from the cops is illegal, just adding another charge to the rap sheet once caught. With that in mind, every last one of us will at some time make a mistake, and I am a man of second chances, so if such an opportunity occurs be ready to [capitalize].
First rule of running from the [police].
Never run cuffed. The possibility that you might need the use of your hands at some point in time may arise.
Over a fence and under a car. This one is good in theory, but poor in practice. With technology leading the way, triangulation and capturing of criminals is much easier now days, so duckin’ the tail and [lying low] isn’t as easy as it once was a long time ago.
A little speed, and some tight turning. It is not about [speed] exactly but rather putting the person chasing in a position they can't do what you just did.
[Elude] the police by eliminating the trail. Did you get rid of all the discriminating evidence at the scene, like the bullets lodged in the walls or the blood covered carpet?
There are other things that elude the heat as well, like avoiding making a paper trail by using only cash and having a [pseudonym], or an [alias].
Finally, rule five.
Never stop running. Because once you stop running, ‘they’ will [ketchup|catch up] with you and to escape another one of the [pigs in a blanket] it will take everything that can be [mustard|mustered].