Nothing is quite so tragic and beautiful as two transexuals in love.

She stares with a gleam in her eye at the AIM name which is grey, and will be, perhaps, until the end of time. She wanted to know just how much of whatever it took to get herself intoxicated, she said. Of course the suicide note found scrawled in a notebook about a week later along with her corpse suggested she had other plans.

So a year later patient zero is going bleh over it. Sure, it was bound to happen when it happened, but it can be hard to shake off the bitterness. Espically when patient zero is talking to B's mom and they almost mistake each other for parent and child.

Granted, I never figured out they were that close. The catfighting in the room that erupted whenever they were in proximity was, to put it mildly, intense. But as the poets say, the one who hates you perfectly loves you. Which, although a fallacy, may be true in some respects.

As it turns out, seventy-five percent or so of all transgendered individuals take their own lives. Them's pretty bad odds. I guess 2/5 isn't that bad comparatively.

Over all I find myself growing rather cold toward everything. Everything in the world is so fleeting that it mostly isn't worth worrying about.

But it is strange that no matter how hard I try to elevate myself above everything, above all the pain and suffering, I am invariably drawn down to the suffering of others. I'm not interested, but I am, if you know what I mean.

After it's happened so many times it seemed like a perfectly normal response to not getting into a good college.

Meet Z. Z wants to go to the University of Georgia bad. Really bad. He got rejected with stats more impressive than mine in several ways. The fact that I got accepted there makes me think sort of like i'm taking his spot. Like he got the short end of the stick because of this overpopulation mess we got ourselves into. And for him there are probably 5,000 other people who feel the same way, and here I am holding back all of them with my very breathing.

Damn. I need to buy a shack in Alaska.