Well my day was going pretty great before I came on here. Last night my boyfriend was over and we watched T.V. Not that exciting but contentment comes in strange moments. Today I went shopping with my mum to buy me a birthday present for me. She was going to get me a watch but we found a necklace and earing set that we both loved but realised cost way too much. We go to the heart of Springvale the suburb I grew up in , to find cheap jewellery. In some person’s backyard we checked out an 18ct white gold sapphire ring with matching ear-rings, however the cost is still too high. My talent for sweet talking my boyfriend achieved the goal of getting the earrings as well : 0 ). I’m so lucky!

I was supposed to go to Monash University with a friend of mine called Nat, I don’t really get to see her outside of the work place, she’s a pretty cool person, she is able to blend in with any crowd, but she doesn’t really have a group of her own to really call her own. I used to have a group of friends to which I thought or felt that I really belonged to, but so many things have changed. I used to talk and hang out with Kris a lot but since I entered a relationship with some one, he doesn’t call or invite me to go any where anymore. I used to call him every once in a while but I got tired of the one ended friendship and just gave up. He gives the excuse that when he organises gatherings he thinks of single people to invite. He has a strange concept that couples always want to be together and be alone together and that it makes others uncomfortable to be in the company of a couple. Which in some circumstances can be true, but not all. He knows how I feel about his attitude, he confesses that his actions are unintentional and apologises but then does nothing to change his behaviour. Much to the demise of the friendship.

I also used to hang out with Chantelle a lot too, but not so much anymore, we’re both pretty busy, I really just see her at uni, and now that uni is over, I guess I’ll only really get to see her when there is a group gathering going on, which isn’t often. It used to be just Chantelle, Kris and I and we’d go out and see each other a lot, but that was nearly two years ago now.

The friends that live close to me like Janine, Nikki and Ines I get to chat to at least every few weeks if not every week, and I see them often, so that’s a good thing, I wish it could be more often though. In the second year of uni I met Stacey who also lives pretty close to me, she is a cool chick that I hung out a lot with too for a little while, but she works full time and doesn’t go to uni anymore so I don’t get to see her much either.

Another person that is cool to hang around with is Jay, except for the fact that he is an alcoholic, at least at the ‘Delta’ stage of alcoholism according to Jellinek’s phases of alcoholism (Figure in ‘The Psychology of eating and drinking’ by Logue, Pg 266) that are described in ‘Alcohol and Alcoholics’ by Block, Pg 133. I’m not saying that everyone that drinks heavily will progress to alcoholism, heck!, if that was the case then 80% of 18-25 yr old Australian males would fit that description, it is sadly just part of the culture, which some other cultures may find hard to understand, it is also what makes it so difficult to to determine whether one’s behaviour will progress and if any thing can be done before its too late to help them. That is, if they think they need help and want it.

I don’t particularly enjoy hanging around the group that I once thought that I belonged to. It is better to see people individually, it is a lot easier to get a long awaited and good conversation started. To really catch up. It is also some what uncomfortable in group situations when there is someone there that you don’t speak to. I can understand such actions because there have been instances in high school where this chick pissed me off, all she did was make ANY situation bad, even if it was good, it would all turn to shit when she got involved. It was like her whole purpose for living was to cause misery. I know! It is hard to comprehend that one measly person could have the capacity to create such havoc. In high school life, she could, and she did. I asked her politely to never speak to me again, however such communication seemed to just go through one ear and out the other (she did just have an empty space for a brain, I don’t know why I expected more from her), she continued to attempt to speak to me, I just vehemently ignored her. I detested how she did not understand the words “go away and never speak to me again!”

I was walking around a shopping centre when she saw me and called out my name, waved and said ‘hi’ in a busy food court, I turned and looked straight at her, stared, said nothing, and walked away. She must have felt and looked like a dick. I had told her to not speak to me, what else could I do?. I had no reason to change my mind, she continued to be annoying.

Anyways, since then I always respect the wishes of someone that askes me not to speak to them. However this makes me not want to be in the company or even the near vicinity of such a person, more for their sake than mine. I wish the chick I told to get away from me would have done that!. This means though that if I am not to be in the vacinity of the said non talkative person, I can not see friends who hang around said non talkative person. This is not really a problem because I can not be mad or blame the person for their actions, obviously it is a reaction that I would do, and have requested of some one before. I made the decision of who I respected more and what I would want from a difficult situation and I concluded that ideally any bad news is best heard from your partner, but what if they can’t remember it?, if my partner did something stupid and couldn’t remember it, I could only wish and hope that someone respected me enough to tell me the truth. When a direct question is asked of you from a friend you respect, and they are expecting a direct answer, it is difficult to lie, a direct answer should be given.

I’m still busy trying to organise my birthday party, I can’t wait for it, there will be a small group of about 15 people who don’t really know each other but they’re all willing to act like big kids and participate in a character theme based game. I’m still waiting for things to get better, my smashed car is still taunting me in my front yard, I come on here and find that some one has systematically downvoted my stuff, further more I have three old write ups that were on 0 or positive total reputation that are marked for destruction for no reason, I can understand why one or two of them were taken down because they were structurtured or formatted wrong but I can’t understand why Flames was taken down, I get no explainations and that just pisses me off, I know that there is nothing I can do about it, that is why this place can be such a bureaucracy sometimes.

At least I’ll get to go to my boyfriends place tonight, he knows how to make me happy, his optimism can make things seem so right.

if you find any spelling or grammar mistakes, please message me and I will fix it instead of just downvoting, the spell checker on my processor isn’t working, and I don’t have a dictionary around, and I’m dumb at spelling and communication .