As I've mentioned in the past
I suffer from Crohn's Disease
, and as this flare continues my condition continues to become worse. As of today I have not eaten in 13 days. Physically I have no appetite
(which is just as well, as eating something would tear me apart inside) but mentally I am craving something with flavor to chew on. At this point I would gnaw on my own arm
if I knew that a) it wouldn't hurt (and with my codeine
pills, it just might not) and b) I wouldn't need my arm at some point in the future.
As I write this I am watching the 1986 movie Short Circuit on American Movie Classics. There's a scene early in the film where Ally Sheedy cooks pasta with tomato sauce for Johnny Five, the input-craving robot. This pasta meal on-screen is now over fifteen years old. This pasta has long since been broken down into base elements and has returned to the earth. Heck, perhaps these elements have become pasta again in the past fifteen years and have been broken down yet again. That does not matter. I want this pasta dinner. I want to chew it up, take in the tactile sensation of chewing, enjoy the tomato-y flavor, and swallow it down.
My intestines are ripping themselves apart and meanwhile a robot is enjoying pasta. What's wrong with this picture?