Ron Roberto is an extremely cheap rum. This “imported rum” is “Distilled in the West Indies” and is a “Product of the Virgin Islands”, or so the bottle says. The fermented sugar cane juice is actually put into these plastic, ez-grip bottles in Somerville, Massachusetts. Ron Roberto comes in both the spiced and non-spiced varieties, though neither are particularly tasty. This rum is best suited for situations when you and several friends want to go from 0 to drunk in under 20 dollars.

Ron Roberto can be found at the bottom of the barrel section of most New England liquor stores. Though nowhere in the league of the delicious Malibu Coconut Rum, Ron Roberto makes a passable rum and coke. Shots of this rum are only recommended for the desperate, or already wasted. Its decidedly un-smooth taste has caused some to refer to it as “Ron Jimmy”.

Nevertheless, Ron Roberto comes with a personal recommendation, as it has gotten me shitfaced on quite a few occasions. It is an 80 proof (40% alcohol) rum, and 1.75 liters cost me fourteen dollars, which is good news for the frugal alcoholic. So, pick up a bottle of Ron Roberto for your next gathering, and let it weave its intoxicating magic.

Just don’t blame me the next morning.