Not sure why I'm even posting this, but that's why such things are hidden, right? I made a mistake today. Not a usual fuck up, that's rarely enough. I finally pushed someone away, for issues they had and my inability to deal with them. No contempt, it went as decently as these things can. It was only a few hours later that I realized the scale of my mistake. I've now pushed away the sole person who would listen to and help me to sort my demons. I can't go back though. Too late it feels like, and I know I had legitimate reasons for leaving, but I still wish it hadn't gone this way. Sadists and lovers of schadenfreude take note, I'm in for a spiral, and it will undoubtedly start to show soon.