When I was engaged, people foolishly asked me if I'd "make" my wife take my last name. Like it's up to me?? I'm quite happy whichever way works for her. (they asked the same question about "making her" cover her hair, as many Jewish women do, which I answered in much the same way). She can make the choice as she likes, and I had no intention of pressuring her. That may or may not make the choice any easier, of course. (In case you're curious, she opted to take my name).

I recall a friend of mine from college who maintained that when she married, she would certainly not change her name, and had what I thought was a novel approach to handling the children's names: the boys would get the father's name, and the girls would get hers. A clever idea, I thought.

Meanwhile, she has since married and borne children... but I don't happen to know if she actually followed up on her plan.