Return to God slipped away quietly, during third period physics class (thing)

My mother was born in [1948] to a devout [Catholic] family. She was raised with [Catholic school]ing and [Sunday] [mass]. The same year, my father was born into a [Jewish] family. Instead of [first communion] like my mother, he got a [bar mitzvah].

For my brothers and I, growing up in our household was often confusing. Neither one of my parents gave up their [faith]. They loved each other but refused to [Under normal circumstances, the Jewish community does not seek converts|convert for each other]. Instead they just [agreed to disagree]. For the four of us children, we were made to attend [Catholic Mass|Mass] on the second and fourth Sunday of every month and then go to the [Synagogue] on Saturday of the first and third weekends. At the age of [You're A Man Now|thirteen], our parents gave us the option of [Judaism] or [Catholicism].

My oldest brother [Joshua] chose Judaism. [Marcus] picked Catholicism. My younger brother [Anthony] chose Catholicism too. I, however, being the [black sheep] [radical] of the family, chose neither. Instead, I chose not to define myself except possibly as [agnostic].

To say the least, my mother was less than happy and chose to [disrespect] my choice. While my brothers were allowed to attend the service of their choice, I was still forced to alternate between the two. My [Catholic] [grandfather] was certain I was possessed and following [Satan]. My [Jewish Grandma] was bitter over only having one grandson follow her faith and openly blamed my father for marrying a woman outside of his faith.

In all truth, I made my choice because I had just always known that I wasn't trusting what the people in either church were saying about this [God] character. No one could get their story straight. One day [Jesus died on the cross for me] and was [my Lord and Savior] and the next, Jesus was never a savior at all and only [God] was [almighty].

My father seemed to take it all in stride. When I had [announce]d my decision, he came later that night to talk to me. He told me that, while he did not agree with my choice, he did respect this. [He will never know] how much that conversation meant to me.

On my [17|seventeenth] birthday, I got a phone call from my mom telling me to leave school and take a bus to the hospital. "Don't ask questions now, just go," she told me.

Upon my arrival, I was told by Joshua that my father had been in a horrible [car wreck] in the [interstate] and wasn't in good shape. He was slipping [in and out] of consciousness. The event struck me like nothing else before. That night, I asked Joshua to take me to the Temple. I prayed there like I had never prayed before. For the first time, I actually believed that [maybe God was hearing what I was saying].

I began to understand how it is that [You don't know what you have until it's gone|you cannot possibly understand or appreciate what you have until it's taken from you.] Through everything, I finally realized what my father had meant to me. Here was the man that had taught me how to [read] and [write], [how to throw a baseball]. The man who taught me how to say "[you lazy bum]" in [Yiddish] to insult my brothers. [Here was the man] who taught me how to [drive], told me [how to kiss] my [first girlfriend], told me that [eventually, everything in life works out okay and everyone ends up happy], laying almost [lifeless] in a hospital bed. I prayed to [his God], to my mom's [God], but I still didn't know what to think. If there truly was a God, I didn't understand how He could do something like this, I just knew that I wanted Him to help fix things.

My dad got worse over the next week or so. He went on a [respirator] full time and stopped responding to us. I went to visit alone with him one day after school. I held his hand and just told him everything I was thinking. I poured all my feelings, good and bad out to him. I admitted breaking the kitchen window when I was [eight]. I told him about the time [Breaking Anthony is not something you can do easily. It takes practice|Anthony] and I took his [Firebird] for a [joyride] while he and mom were out of town. I kissed him on the forehead and said, "[I love you. Please die soon.]"

The next day at school, I got [the call]. [Dad|God] slipped away quietly,during third period physics class. [Father|He] raised his arm up as if to wave good-bye and then [Papa|he] flat-lined. [Daddy|God] died peacefully at age 52 in a hospital bed. [Your father really is the superhuman that you always thought he was.|My only regret from my time spent with him is that I never believed in him until he had already passed through my hands.]