Men's magazines are better than women's magazines, or at least more honest: they show pictures of drop dead gorgeous skinny teenage girls for blokes to get pleasure from. Women's magazines show pictures of drop dead gorgeous skinny teenage girls to make us feel huge, ancient and hideous. They are torture devices, and should be avoided by all free-thinking females. The content is so predictable: orgasms, blokes, relaaaaayshunships, boring beauty tips, and always the token Third World article, thrown in as a sop to make us feel slightly better after seeing all the models: "Aaaa well, at least I'm not a Thai prostitute/victim of female circumcision/whatever.."

Then there are the horror stories: "My husband shagged my sister's baby and left me pregnant!" etc... and the hideously depressing health sections. The sex sections are designed to make you feel inadequate as a person if you aren't doing it, and worried about it if you are.

Sheesh, I wish they'd bring back knitting patterns..