She is dangerous and innocent at the same time. You want to try and convey her worth, her meaning to you, that your day and night begin with the look in her eyes, that her smile ends Winters and her frown crashes financial markets. If you do this, you know that all she will do is shrug.
She is what every man dreams of: She is passionate but never angry, she is raunchy yet elegant, she knows exactly how to act to buffer your mood and most importantly she wants you but never asks for commitment. But that is all you want from her; you want to protect her, care for her, be her shoulder, make her yours. But she can never be yours. This is life's cruel fate. You want something you cannot have and all you can do is sit silently watching, knowing that a train wreck is happening in front of you and realize that silence and acceptance is your only recourse. In fact, you are the conductor of that very train.
You can change this, your mind screams. You have your wits and your limbs about you! But the situation is not right, the perfect world is only in your head. Your actions alone wont be enough to change this. Words like obligation are thrown around in your head. This is not what they taught you as a child. True strength means not getting what you want and learning to live with the fact that you may have been able to change it at the cost of other things. "WhatIf" may be the dirtiest word in the english language, if not than "I should have" is pretty close.
She laughs at your serious gaze and asks what are you thinking? You smile and reply "Only Good Things". This is the curse of being a man. The illusion of possible change.