Behold, the power of cheesecake
I'm not going to lie. Women make me do strange things that I wouldn't do when I wasn't under their spell. But with all due respect to passport, he's wrong. Dead wrong.
The first step to becoming miserable in life is changing yourself for reasons other than your own. You are you. It's as simple as that. You're constantly evolving, never the same person you were ten minutes ago. A pattern of you stays the same, but even as you're reading this, the neural wiring in your brain is rearranging itself, changing with each word you digest. You do not stay constant, the only constant is that you are changing every moment.
But changing yourself to fit into some sort of mold of the perfect guy isn't a good change. It's a negative-sum decision. Consciously attempting to alter who you are in order to meet women is the utterly wrong way to go about it. Yes, you may meet women. Yes, you may end up having lots of steamy, wild monkey sex. But what would the you 5 years ago say about the sellout you?
It's not about conformism, although my argument on conformity touches somewhat on this issue (one which I came up with before reading the eloquent rant by Frisina. This was certainly a case of "all your radical ideas...have already occured to others.")
Years ago, I enrolled at Michigan Tech. I was immidiately advised, in not so many words, "Lower your standards, and strive to be a carbon copy of the idea of a 'good guy' possessed by the majority of women. Then you'll be able to get one of the few girls here."
I think not. I am not changing myself to meet some meaningless and insulting standards imposed by the majority of women. Women who wouldn't know romance if it made them breakfast the next morning. Women who wouldn't know wit if it kept them in stiches. Women who wouldn't know altruism if it...well, you get my drift.
They can have their alpha males, their cookie-cutter relationship. They can have the lies, the cheating, the unhappiness, the bad sex. They can have as much of it as they want. They can keep dating the same bad guys over and over again. I encourage them to.
I'll find love on my own terms. I will be me, and I will do the things that make me me. I'm going to smoke, I'm going to sit in a diner with my headphones on, madly drawing away. I'm going to go to movies by myself, and laugh at all the parts no one gets the humor of. I'm going to drive around in my car, blasting Dream Theater or Tori Amos, and singing along in an extremely animated fashion.
I've gotta be me. I'm perfectly comfortable knowing that I may never meet the woman that will appreciate me for the person I am. It's a bit disheartening, but I know that I won't ever sacrifice personal happiness to become something I'm not.
But if I do...if I find someone who can appreciate my quirks, my flaws, and the myriad nuances that compose me...then I know I'll be immeasurably happier than those who would sell pieces of themselves off in hopes of fitting the ideal. And the amount of fun I've had in the meantime will be absolutely, totally, and in all other ways inconceivable.
You want to be happy? Be yourself. Don't change yourself for other people. Embrace those things that contribute to your you-ness, live them, love them, and be happy with yourself. Because as long as you're unhappy with yourself, you'll never be happy with someone else.
A good relationship must be founded on utter truth. Nothing less will do. Changing who you are is a lie to those you meet, and worse yet, a lie to yourself.
Or, by all means, ignore my advice. Quit your vices, get your tattoos lased off, cut that unique and interesting looking hair and clean up like a Backstreet boy, strive to get the washboard abs of Brad Pitt, alter your vernacular, go out and buy a car that serves no useful purpose, hang out with shallow women, become a beer-can smashing, wife-beating alpha male with a pack of moronic followers, and then bow down at the Altar of the Vajayjay.
If every guy did that, I'd be in good shape! FOLLOW passport'S ADVICE! NOW, YOU MEWLING CABBAGES!