Hades Highball
The afterlife is rough. Hades isn't exactly perfect when it comes to making sure the trains run on time and whatnot, and when we're getting together for a big Underworld bash, sometimes, things go wrong. I know you're saying, "But the Underworld is where souls go to rest!" Hahahahaha. That's just what they tell you so you won't be beating down Cerebus' door to get in here.

A couple aeons ago, one such shindig had been planned. It was gonna be a blast. Most of the Gods were gonna show, and the wine was supposed to flow like water. Unfortunately, a freak accident had caused the shipment of wine to be turned into vinegar. I think the wine crafter was bragging he did a better job than Dionysus, and blam - All of his vintages putrefied, like that. Hades was right pissed, and nearly soiled his knickers at the thought of what would happen when Zeus showed up.

Now, you probably don't know Zeus, but if you say you're having a party, you're having a party. And if he shows up and there's nobody getting jiggy - Well, let's just say you're gonna be in for a hell of a punishment. Sisyphus? Prometheus? They're living the good life compared to what you're in for.

So we're sitting there, thinking hardcore what we can do. Then this unknown dead artist, I think his name was Ryan EmEm or something, had a great idea. What's the one thing Hades has in spades? Give up? Pomegranates and cream soda. Don't ask why we have cream soda. It's a Persephone thing.

Next thing you know, he's juicing a bunch of pomegranates, mixing up grenadine. While he's working on that, he asks us to procure some Captain Morgan's rum. Now, this was a bitch, seeing as how it wasn't invented yet. But we managed to dredge up a few hundred cases. He then whipped up the drink, gave one to Hades, who quickly gave Ryan a hearty thumbs-up.

Zeus turned Ryan into an honorary God when he had his first sip. Unfortunately, a few hours and a few hundred Hades Highballs later, Zeus was sloppy pissed and demoted him back down to normal soul.

Them's the breaks. Here's the drink. It's roughly 12% alcohol by volume, but by Zeus, you won't even taste the liquor. Don't let that fool you into thinking you're sober enough to cavort with a naiad or two. You may end up getting turned into a tree.

Mixing instructions:
  1. Plunk 2 ice cubes into a highball glass.
  2. Pour the rum over the cubes. Swirl glass to chill the Captain's.
  3. Pour in the grenadine.
  4. Finally, pour in the cream soda.
  5. Stir, in case the carbonated beverage hasn't already mixed the drink effectively.
  6. Partake of the sweet nectar.
Return to the Everything Bartender for another round!