My empathy has focused to a laser beam, a single point
You're beyond its light, outside its tolerated faults
I can't care about your shit, you see
Come back when you're in deeper
Meanings fall away, curls of wood whittled off, this trash
Nearly all of existence, all endless, worthless, useless
I can't love anything now
The emotion is there, but the object isn't
Passion retreats from me, a frightened insect scared by my light
I know there was something I loved, someone
Some ambition once...
Go ahead, earn my pity
I'm not without causes
Look into my eyes, gaze deep, a crystal stare, locked in your moonlit ocean
Earn it and I will blind you
I'll care harder than you could ever want, past all rationality
I'll end your empathy, your humanity
The cold shell you'll become will endear you twice to me
Pushing you away with closeness, suffocating enthusiasm
It's my own commitment to irony, you'll see
Coughing till I vomit
This anemia of the soul must be infecting my body
These words sound plenty shitty
Well, they'll be met in kind, I'm sure
Oh sorry, is that not long enough? Is this not enough in the way of words? Well, I know poetry way shorter, but I guess there isn't much length-wise for a writeup. Here we go, I'll just meaninglessly monopolize your time for a little longer. Do you like movies? I just got
IFC, so I expected to see a lot more of them. Most of them aren't really indie films, though, they're like
Dusk Till Dawn or
Saw or right now
Vice Squad is on. I'm not going to watch it, because I decided that if I think nothing's on TV, I shouldn't fucking watch it.
So hey, how 'bout a line break? Okay, good, that's padding things out. Sure are a lot of words here, lately. I missed pictures. Here's a good one. And here's some paintings. Don't get the point of this aimless rambling, you uncultured fuck? I guess there's a lot of things I'd say if it didn't matter. It doesn't really; I'm the only one with the insight to understand what I'm saying, I learn, I get it, hooray for me. If it helps to tell anyone else, simply for knowing that I did, the reaction is still moot. I feel better, I feel worse, the fractured world I'm foreign to and separate from is unaffected.
Expect more.