Oh, don't even get me started on those stupid little birds. There was one bird around five years ago that must have had its nest in a tree right by the kitchen window, which was rather large. Every day, starting at 6 AM, all we'd hear was:


...until around midnight as the stupid little piece of crap tried to mate with the window. We pondered why the damn bird didn't die from hitting its head against the window as hard as it was, and decided that it was because the bird actually had no brain at all.

We tried everything. We taped big 'X's over the windows in the hope it would ruin the reflection, but that damn bird just picked away at the tape and went on bonking. We went outside with baseball bats and tried to swat the thing or at least discourage it. We tried finding its nest, but the bugger must have known what we were up to and hid it real well.

Finally, someone told us to get an inflatable owl and stick it outside the window. We were skeptical, but at thie point we would have drawn pentagrams and sacrificed a llama if it would have meant getting a decent night of sleep. Lo and behold it actually worked, and we didn't see the bird for weeks.

Until the owl got hit by something and deflated.

Five minutes later...