1. Cut through the steering wheel. Remove The Club and throw it in a river.
  2. When being attacked by a dinosaur, wait until it is about to bite you and shove The Club into its mouth vertically, to keep the jaw open. Wait until the dinasaur bites down hard, which will snap the club in two.
  3. Give The Club to an LA or NYC policeman, who will return it covered with blood.
  4. Give The Club to Superman, who is always showing off his strength and will immediately bend it in half.
  5. Pretend you are one of the Three Musketeers and use The Club as a fencing foil. Run about the house all willy-nilly breaking things. Keep this up until your mother takes it away from you and throws it out.
  6. Lend it to a Denmark sex show. When it comes back, you won't want it anymore.
  7. Install The Club as a lightning rod and wait for a storm.
  8. Let a sumo wrestler borrow The Club for pole vaulting.
  9. Use The Club for a walking stick. Walk next to the Grand Canyon.
  10. Have George W. Bush nominate The Club for a cabinet position and let the Senate ruin it.
  11. Take copious amounts of drugs. The Club won't be ruined, but you won't really care.

    And finally...

  12. Install The Club in your vehicle and park it somewhere safe. When you return, The Club (and your vehicle) will most likely be gone.