NB: This writeup contains extensive use of the F-word, and general bad language and bitterness.

Excuse my language, but I'm fucking pissed off.

Had a job interview yesterday with a BIG company.

"Hi, we got your CV and we're wondering if you're still looking for work at the moment. You are? Great, great. Could you come in and see us tomorrow for a chat. We're really looking for someone with your skills at the moment."

And so I go to the interview and meet Mr. Management, the 42 year old pseudo-geek, who begins instantly drilling me with inane questions about obscure code snippets and out of date methodology.

"Around here, we do things fast. We work fast, we think fast, we talk fast."

Please, give me a fucking break you prick. Instead of trying to get me to slip up, why don't you converse with me like an human being instead of a asset.

"Well you have an impresssive CV, oh it says here you have an MCP too. Well done, very good."

Do you even know what an MCP is?

"If we were to offer this job to you, would you be able to start first thing on Monday morning?"

Course I would, I've knocked about ten grand off my salary expectations because I'm so desperate to get a job.

"Well, it all looks good from here, we'll give you a call first thing in the morning to let you know."

Great, we shake hands, we part company, I feel confident.

I get the phone call this morning.

"Hi, it's xyz here. We think you would be perfect for this job and could do really well at our company, and you obviously love what you do a lot, but we've decided not to give you a position at this time because we feel you need more experience in the area of (insert shit scripting language here). Call us back in August and we may have a position for you, best of luck."

Luck? Luck??? Don't fucking insult me! If you think I'd be perfect for this job, then give it to me for fuck's sake. Don't put me on a fucking pedestal and then tell me to go and shite. I could pick up (shit scripting language) syntax in one day, I have more experience than anyone in that poxy design studio and I'm offering you my services for a knock-down bargain basement price.

"Can I give you some advice? You're salary expectations are a little too high for a job like this."

Really, despite the fact that it's over ten thousand euro LESS per annum than what I was being paid BEFORE I went to college and got even MORE qualified? Well, you know what? Shove it up your fucking hole you miserable shower of bastards. Call you in August? Fine. I'll sit around for the next two months poring over (shit scripting language) syntax for you, then I may be worthy of a position in the hallowed halls of your super-1337 company.

Blow me.