Whereas the Court recognizes that
the relationship extended beyond intercourse
(though to a degree that is questionable at best).
And whereas it was demonstrated
that your hands had the best of intentions
when they grasped the Plaintiff's shoulders
(despite, we note, their discomfort with the contact).
The Court holds that your use of the L word
(hereafter referred to as The Word)
was egregiously misapplied
and that the error lies solely upon you, the Accused.
As such, the Court sentences you to solitary confinement
for no less than 3 years with the possibility of parole
for good behavior.