Mark has put in me in a pensive mood yet again. I don't get to see him that often at school, so we end up talking a lot on ICQ. Today he sent me a little limerick as he so often does...
If you say you care
Are you able to swear
That your feelings are true
Or will you say we're through
And add to my nightmare
And then he went offline before I could even respond. Sheesh!
I think everyone has doubts whether the people around them are true or not. I know I wonder about people sometimes when they are quiet or moody. I wonder if they are just having a bad day or if they are mad at me or if they dislike me for some reason. Maybe they secretly hate me and are just pretending to like me. I know things like this are pretty irrational, but sometimes you can't help but think them. I know Mark is not alone in these feelings, and I wish he stayed online so I could tell him.
That said, if he did stay online, he would have no reason to believe anything I said. He would just have to blindly trust me, and this is harder to do for some than others. If you have been hurt before, (and he has been) then this is really hard to do. But there comes a point where one has to make a choice between being alone and chancing getting hurt. I still wish he stayed online.
I hope he takes the chance. Sometimes I wish other people's hurt didn't cause me more heart ache than my own.
"What deep wounds ever closed without a scar?" - Lord Byron