s are tough
to catch. When you're not looking, they're doing bong hits
. As the month progresses, your liquor
gets more and more watered down, until the bad cat "accident
ly" knocks over the bottle so you have to buy more alcohol
. When you're at work, the bad cat brings home dirty
, skanky cats
that are full of greasy fleas
and they screw them on your pillow
. They drink from the milk carton
when you're looking the other way. Those dead mice
you find were a combination of Feng Shui
and Cthulhu worship
, except you keep stumbling onto the ritual
s before the bad cat can set the house aflame.
You never know when you have a bad cat until it's too late.