If the topic for your paper is open to any subject, you can do what I did in ninth grade.

We had to write a paper that was three measley pages long. Unfortunately, this was before the days of word processors in every living room (1977, to be exact). My English teacher was always pushing for me to write about better items than comic books and (ugh!) science fiction. I decided to go for science and fiction at the same time.

My paper was about the effects of the solar atmosphere on lyman alpha radiation waves. My sources were some technical astronomy papers and some 1960's Sky and Telescope magazines. I fit so much technical jargon into it (and some jargon I made up on the spot), that she couldn't read it at all. She couldn't even find 40% of the words I used (only time I used the archaic term whilom in a paper).

She took the paper over to the science teacher, but he said that he heard of some of the terms before, but it was way over his head. She gave me a 99 on it because she thought I mis-spelled Ignoxigatiative wrong. I challenged her to prove that, and she couldn't because I made it up. It was the only 100% paper she gave out that year ("because there is no such thing as a perfect paper").

The moral of this story? Screw morals, if you can't beat them, baffle them with bullshit. She made sure to give us a topic after that fiasco, but I was good at misconstruing her ideas. Writing a comparative analysis of Gilgamesh became how Gilgamesh was like Spider-Man.

She retired at the end of that school year.