Oh, no! It's "Come Clean" time!

I was the evil H4X0r named I_0WnZ_yEw. I tried my best not to write inflammatory stuff to other noders, but I kept going on about how a AOL could hack this place. Instead of noding trollish stuff, I just captured all the text on one screen and posted it under many different node titles. Thanks to someone who has some additional powers, IOU the 'L33t Hacker ended up with 2.2 million XP, which shot him to the top of the Everything's Best Users list.

When I appeared as good old reliable Rancid_Pickle, I had someone borge me so IOU could take the credit. Actually, everything that happened IOU took credit for. When E2 slowed down because of bandwidth, IOU took credit for it by saying he started searching for the letter "e" in the database. When the editors said they lost editor powers and could not delete the troll writeups, IOU said it was his handiwork.

Now, for some funny items. There were many folks who /msg'd poor old I_0WnZ_yEw and told him what they thought of him. Straight from the chatterbox comes these fresh messages:

  • JyZude says dude, you suck. Sent three times.
  • Jurph says Get Bent, Script Kiddie. You've got the brains God gave a retarded walrus... and the walrus wants to trade back. Jurph, once I asked how to get rid of the messages with the checkboxes, tried valiantly to flood me with that message. Kudos for defending E2 as best as he could!
  • Jurph says Instant Karma's Gonna Get You... Gonna slap you right in the face. Better get your (lame) sh*t together... join the human race (you fScking troll). And we all shine on...XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx I modified the explicatives :)
  • Jurph says What's a matter? Can't figure out how to link to sh*t? What a great and mighty h4x0r you are. You should be r00t. O, wait, you're a fScking impotent maladroit monkeynut.
  • Jurph says Wow. You really are totally fScking clueless here, aren't you? You're nothign more than a newbie with god powers... and you don't even know how to use them. Go back to Diablo II, where cheating is more fun. I would guess that Jurph was quite taken in by IOU's ruse.
  • jesicapierce says I am in secret communication w/ (name withheld) - i have him convinced we are going to crack the Fed next - he wants to help. I told him you are my so - he wants to know our group name. MAKE ONE UP QUICK HAHA and make it DUMB. I made up Elite 0Wnerz Colective (with that spelling error).
  • jesicapierce says Damn you are good - i told him to watch the news for us next week - and I am referring to you as "Bert" - your real name isnt Bert is it? Nope, it's not Bert, or Ernie for that matter :)
  • The numerous folks who kept up the "Oh, my, our powers are gone, we were hacked" routine. Special kudos to Dannye with his appending everything he said with redboot, and saying someone had modified the code so he couldn't borg anyone. The straight-man did an excellent job of being the foil.
I hope you had fun, or can at least look back and laugh about it now.

Remember, we L000VE all y'all.

If you're upset about the goings-on, please dismiss it as a "blowing off steam" incident. Remember, the Editors and Gods volunteer to go through the database daily and cull out the bad writeups, some right up there with the stuff posted today. We don't get paid, we do it because this place is worth donating time and reading through 20 one-liners to get to the one gem. Give us this day our daily prank, and we will be renewed in our mission to keep E2 worth visiting daily. Honest :)