I met Satan
one night in a bar in London
True story. I was there a couple of years ago with my old mate Andy for a long evening of boozing and talking about old times. The bar was (and still is) called the Intrepid Fox. We drank snakebite and blacks. Lots of them. We weren't students, or Goths - we just liked those drinks because they get you niiiiice and drunk.
Anyway, we were chatting away, and got talking to this loud guy who was quite drunk and quite funny. He turned out to be Canadian, and over the course of the conversation, he revealed himself to be Satan. We laughed, but then he explained that he'd had his name legally changed to Satan to piss off the hardline born-agains in his hometown. Apparently, they'd been giving him a hard time because he had long hair, played in a band, and made posters for his gigs featuring him holding a knife to a girl's throat (his girlfriend) that said "Come see us play or we sacrifice the virgin". So he went and changed his name. He had his passport with him, and showed us - his first name was now Sa, and his last name was Tan. Apparently it drove the local God squad nuts, but everyone else just thought it was funny.
And the killer line of the night, although it sounded like he'd practiced it a lot, was this: he told us that "most people are quite disappointed to find out that Satan's just a fat guy from Canada." Sheer class.
Great guy, that Satan. Not so bad after all, then...
Update: I've since learned from Pseudo_Intellectual that this was actually Brian "Godzilla" Salmi, who has a node about him already. Some of my details may be a bit fuzzy (read: wrong) due to drunken memory failure, but most of it is correct. I'm keeping this here though, because it's still a true story, and I like it. But thanks to P_I for letting me know - it's good to know I didn't just imagine the whole thing...
Further Update: I found a webzine Salmi wrote for, and tracked down his email address - I got in touch with him, and he confirmed that he was the guy. He remembers even less of that day than I do, in fact his whole visit to England was a bit of a blur. But he had a good time, and that's the important thing.