It was the funeral
of some kid who was younger than me, that I didn't know. I don't know why I went, but it seemed like the whole town was there. Certainly everyone in high school
was. It was at a huge cathedral
next to the high school, and we had to climb up lots of steps to get to the auditorium where the service was. I think we skipped the service part. At least I don't remember it at all.
I was trying to be respectful enough. Was it wrong of me to smile? I kept telling my friends that I had no idea who this kid was or even what he looked like. They were silent and serious and I was separated from them and annoyed.
Everyone left from the funeral riding in the backs of pick-up trucks. It was night. We were going to a party at Breana's house. The house in the dream was not the house I know her to have in real life.
None of my friends were there, but then everyone left for something, and I was alone waiting for them to come back. I was downloading music on the internet. There was a list of songs available, and messages from the people. One of them was courtesy of wonko's mp3 server with a message from wonko saying "I need a hug". I was going to email him or something, but it scrolled, and I kept refreshing and hitting the back button trying to get the message back, but I couldn't.
Because of the death and being in the empty house, I got kind of spooked. For some reason, the solution to this was to change clothes. While I was changing, two men came in. I was trying to stay close enough to the wall that they couldn't see me, but I didn't stop changing. I was afraid of them.
I am not sure how this transitioned, but I was suddenly the girl character in the book I read last night... Janie Johnson from Whatever Happened to Janie. I even had her boyfriend, except instead of the tall and athletic Reeve from the book, this guy was being played by Isaac Hanson. Except he wasn't nearly so good-looking as Isaac Hanson.
He was supposed to be enchanted with tiny, beautiful Janie, and I was indeed much shorter than him. We were outside on some sort of dock. He kissed me, but when I kissed him back he grimaced and said he didn't like my raspberry lip balm. I was mad because I wanted my admiration, damn it. He wasn't even good looking, he should be thrilled to have me.
We went out on the lake on a sort of floating platform. There was some brawny guy who was the captain. I was supposed to be the guest of honor, but no one was paying attention to me. I kept getting confused. I was thinking of bragging to my friend Jeni that I got to kiss Isaac Hanson, but I looked at this guy and knew it wasn't Ike. I wanted to stop being Janie. I would have thought being a tiny entrancing curly-redhead was the best, but it certainly wasn't, and I didn't want to be with the ungracious Reeve any longer. I kept getting the name Reeve confused with the name Ryan, but I knew that Ryan was a separate person even more elusive than the Reeve/Isaac/neither guy.
We started back for shore, and I was sitting on the edge of the platform wondering if I would fall off and how cold the water would be and how much my clothes would hold me down and whether I would be able to swim to shore, when I woke up.