People need to know that celebrities are ugly and stupid just like all the rest of us. Tabloid "newspapers" serve exactly and only this function. They sell pain and people suck it in dry, because people on the whole, love pain. Pain fills up the holes in the fractured 21st century personality and makes us feel complete. A brutal marionette of wholeness dangling over a pit of firey depression. We wake up in the morning with buckets of empty hope. Hope that a car accident won't kill us before lung cancer can. Hope that god will make us rich, and that our kids won't grow up into irresponsible shits that can't take care of themselves, let alone us when we inevitably become cripples through age or accident. We crawl along the asphalt through our disposable lives thinking that the talk show hosts, with their wooden faces will reach down their mighty, manicured hands and relieve us of our burden. That they can rapture us into the heavenly light of day-time television where we can find redemption. Build our own cardboard soul.

This is what it is to live in the modern world.

This is what it's like to work at a convenience store.

Updates to come.