"I am Art" is a funny T-shirt to put on lil' babies. They are art with their Michelin Man arms and wee stubby physiques. Putting the shirt on them makes it legitimate. Art ain't what it used to be folks, art is innovation and surprise, a shock to the system. I'm a philanthropist, and I gotta remark on the flood of wannna be copy margs that try to make the grits.

Art (n). 1. the quality, production, expression, or realm of what is beautiful or of more than ordinary significance … That be Webster, yo.

Take a moment to examine the "more than ordinary significance". Reading this, you have already stepped into the realm of extraordinary significance. You are an artist and be full of joy. A cluttered desk or the lilies that stick to your leg are often dismissed details. Pay attention. I implore you. The little things in life create a mosaic of clues that parallel the true meaning of life. If you pay attention, enlightenment will be your own.

Some examples of Homegrown Art:

  • Lots of colored straws stuck in a pint glass on a mahogany bar, like twiddle sticks on a bender.
  • Errant leaves that blow in from the concrete patio, forming blob shadows on your oak floor.
  • The splatters of red wine that look like paint blown out of a straw on your linoleum floor. Little blotches like starbursts that might remind you of sticky situations you've slid out of.
  • Stuck bits of chopped onion or garlic on the top of your mustard yellow stovetop.
  • O bump of powder blue toothpaste on the edge of the cast iron sink. Growing hard, just like you.
  • A flock of pigeons banking in the wind in front of a church.

You get the drift. Art in life takes on little roles that stick with us like tar on your shoe on a hot day. If you are from the country, well, it's like new pollen sticking on bees. This is a basic lesson, and for the more advanced, we'll explore.

Look at your fingertip print. Nothing else must be said. Welcome to the afterlife.

I don't want you to think that art is like a memory or something to strive for or appreciate, I want art to be your own. It isn't a request with too much to ask. Just embrace the iris of your eye or the mole on your neck. Be sure that these things are art, really, they are. Bite on some tinfoil, then you'll understand.

Homegrown art is purely a human manifestation. Particularly from your drunk and lost human. However, manifest a moment of dream and your being will encounter a metamorphosis of understanding that will challenge the structure of modern day philosophy. When you get down to the nitty-gritty of things a soft glow embraces you like a lead curtain during an x-ray. It is a field of daisies when you brag about it.

Make art.

Is this too much to ask?

Layers of paper decorate my drafting table like leaves under an old elm in autumn. I pick 'em up and let the errant nonsense flutter like too much cologne on some random that is chewing my ear off at the bar. The paper makes a sound when I crumple it. This is art too. Are you following me yet? Art is a hiccup of the individual psyche. It allows the wonderment of individual exploration of the soul. Take notice of the art in museums, that art is real. If you are a being of enlightenment, notice the art in your life. Art in your life is choked full of clues and the beginning of your path. The path to enlightenment and love and warm fuzzy grits that make you full.