First off, Hoover Dam is closed. We were on our way to take the tour, figuring that even if the tour was closed we would still park in one of the lots and hike down to peer over its breathtaking edge, because my wife Angela hasn't seen this mighty example of American can-do in its glorious immensity.

Nature called along the way so we pulled into the Nevada Welcome Center. They handed me two free God Bless America t-shirts (neither in my size) and informed me that right now nobody stops ON or NEAR the dam. You can drive across it, but you'd better keep on going to Arizona, boy, 'cause there ain't no sightseeing at this day and time.

So we puttered around Boulder City for a bit, which isn't a bad thing. We ate lunch at the beautifully restored Boulder Dam Hotel (they make a good open-faced turkey sandwich), looked at the quaint old bungalows that housed the workers back in the 1930s, and then headed back down to Henderson for our rendezvous with destiny.

By which of course I mean Roninspoon. Where he lives is confidential, but I will say that his directions included an adult bookstore as a landmark. My home town, ladies and gentlemen!

Angela and I and Ed and Cameron hit Maggie Moo's Creamery first, for some delicious ice cream. Then it was back to Casa del Spoon for a rousing game of Scrabble (my best word was "doyen"), viewings of the Clerks cartoon and George Lucas In Love, much playing with cats and dogs,and a truly fantastic dinner prepared by our beloved Noder himself. He was kind enough to include cheese grits just because I asked. There was also corn.

Then it was back out into the Vegas night for Krispy Kreme doughnuts! The "Hot Now" sign was on so life was good, and they had an awesome black Krispy Kreme Las Vegas t-shirt with tumbling dice on it, but once again my size was not available. What, is extra-large such a freakish size? Am I some sort of monster??

Then we returned to the Pagoda of the Ronin Spoon. By this time exhaustion had crept up on Angela and I and we had to bid our hosts a reluctant good night. We drove back to my parents' house where we tumbled face-first into bed and fell fast asleep.