My, it's been a weird day. Got up after a long night's non-sleep, with the assistance of a friendly cup of coffee, and spun out the door on the small errands that keep me busy. After grabbing an American gourmet breakfast at McDonalds, I paid a quick visit to one of my storage units to do some planning (gotta get those stupid monitors off my bed).
Drove up to the door of my cube, and there's a nasty little green lock on it... not mine. Rather surprised, I drove over to the office and talked to the lady.
"Hello, um, er, um, there seems to be a lock on my cube. I'm paid up, aren't I?"
"Oh yes, sweetie. Just drive over there and wait a few minutes." She gave me a grin suggestive of a walrus
Well, nothing to lose, I guess. Standing a safe distance from the door of the cube, I stared at the little green lock with awed anticipation, looking like a genius. After about ten minutes of this, I began to feel rather ungeniuslike, perched there on the hood of my minivan waiting for some unearthly force to grant me access to my storage space.
The unearthly force arrived a few moments later, in the form of an orange four-foot walking mohawk bearer, suddenly standing about four inches from my navel. "Guten tag", he said, as he grabbed a key out of nowhere and with a kif-whink removed the lock from the entryway and disappeared back into the ether whence he came.
Finishing my business there, I drove across town (about ninety-seven feet) to my other storage cube. Stepping out of the van, I was pleased to note that the doorway looked reasonably inviting here. As I reached toward my padlock with the key, I noticed a small, green foot sticking out of the sliding bolt mechanism of the door. I peered into the dark opening. The dark opening peered back at me, with two little green eyeballs.
I stomped back to my minivan, got in, and locked the door. I sat there and thought for a moment.
First, I have to pull alien eyeteeth to get into storage #1, and now the lock on storage #2 is evolving into a higher lifeform. This is not my day.
After cooling down a bit, I reinspected the door latch. Little foot was still there, green eyeballs were still there, staring at me out of the darkness.
I poked at the thing with a key... and a small frog poked its head out, and pulled it right back in.
I had identified my enemy.
I could just slide the door open and obliterate the frog, but who wants to do that? So I pulled out my trusty Leatherman, and proceeded to poke at the Microsoft end of the frog. The blasted amphibian darted out of the hole, jumped onto my shirt, and jumped back off into the hole. Twice.
You can perhaps imagine how I felt at about this time. I mean, at least before I was dealing with stupid humans. Now, I'm standing here in the hot sun, doing pitched battle with a baby frog, and the frog is winning.
It took me twenty minutes to get Gertrude fully out of squishing range, and about thirty seconds to finish my work there and leave. Hopefully tomorrow will be boring.