I hurt a lot.
I hurt wherever I brush up against people. Well, some people are ok, but I've sought out and befriended so many of them already... there's still so many who just cause pain.
I was sitting on the bus today on the way back from the fabric shop, and there were these kids a few years younger, making noise. Noise at this guy who could've been me those few years ago. Just having fun, as kids do. Fun by hurting him.
And it's always so. Though I'm no longer just depressed in general, I still sometimes just want to cry at the amount of needless hurt people inflict on each other. Some pain is inevitable I guess, it's hard to have love that doesn't involve quite a lot, but intentional and uncallled-for pain? Viciousness is on of the less attractive human traits, but sometimes I wonder if it's really human nature or some unfortunate byproduct (if there's a difference...). So many people just aren't vicious. They can take a sting and just feel kinda sad, not feel the urge to inflict more pain in return. But others...
I sometimes wonder... is there anything we can actually do, right now in this life in this moment to make the people around us better? And I don't mean I think I'm better, because though I DO, the circumstances in question were small children taking delight in tormenting a helpless geek on the bus. I can stop them, sure. I'm twice their bodymass. But make them better? Make them take pleasure in others' pleasure rather than others' pain? How?
How?