A long-lost memory unearthed by this node:

Three of four times a year my family would make the pilgrimage from our home in Upstate New York to Pittsburgh, PA where every one of my relatives lived. Among the many little thrills that awaited my sister and I at the end of a six-hour car ride was Grandma's cable hook-up. Y’see, my family has never had television programming from the magic little black box.

In the mornings at Grandma's house my sister and I would run downstairs to watch Nickelodeon while Grandma herself made coffee and burnt the waffles. I remember enjoying both You Can't do that on Television and Turkey TV out of all the programs we sampled.

Not having cable, I remember little about the programs, although the Turkey TV theme song has been stubbornly lodged in my brain for at least fifteen years. There was, however, one re-occurring sketch that I can still vividly recall: A neatly-dressed man sits down at a small table, facing the camera. On the table is a normal place setting and some sort of food-y edible thing: a banana or a donut and a cup of coffee. The gentleman tucks the napkin into his collar, and begins to eat, but as he does the food begins to scream. Yes, the food started to wail like a damn banshee as the man ate.

Example: The man picks up a donut and dunks it in coffee. The donut lets out a blood-curdling scream of horrible, horrible agony as the coffee scalds it, and then another as it is bitten into. The man is completely oblivious as he eats, and the food continues to plead and scream as it is devoured.

I can’t recall whether I thought this was funny at the time; I must admit I'm a bit taken by it in retrospect. It's most definitely sillyI think it's funny—yet it's just so damn creepy.

/msg me if you remember this.