user since
Thu Aug 31 2017 at 12:05:47 (11.7 months ago )
last seen
Mon Nov 6 2017 at 22:19:24 (9.5 months ago )
level / experience
0 (Initiate) / 0
mission drive within everything
translator (from English to my native tongue), guitar player
If you want something done well then do it yourself.
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First notable recall - in-line skating for the first time in S. neighborhood of the city M.
A big park just near the fourteen-stories apartments house. Ours on fifth.
A river in the park, named same as the city - M.
I was eight or nine years old... Nine. Yes. It was July, warm summer evening.

Next... A thrash-metal record in a Walkman, in bed after lights were off. Walkman borrowed from my mom, record - taken without asking permission. Strange that she liked it someday, they don't fit in my head - she and this band.
It frightened me and excited me. It was unexpected. I liked it.

Needless to say I wanted to produce sounds like those. Now I (to a great degree) can. I outgrew the band, maybe, but not the timbre. Today I am drawn towards more intricate constructions and compositions. And today I can understand and appreciate the lyrics. I play guitar since I was 14, now I've five guitars and a year salary's worth of audio equipment in my home. I am almost exclusively self-taught in music and pretty good at it. And I married a woman who plays everything and sings like a siren. Yeah, that record directed my life pretty much.

But back onto the timeline. At seventeen I quarreled with my mother to death. We always quarreled cruelly, I was always beaten up, shouted at and forever punished, nothing new here. But this time I had a place to run. I met my Dad that summer after seven years of his absence - not his will this was, which I never doubted. So I gave mom a chance, she blew it up and I quit. That was a major, drastic change.

It turned out my Dad lived with a guy, whom I pretty much dislike. Their relationship never bothered me, it's just that everybody dislikes him for his temper and loves him for his kind soul. A big kid. His destiny much harsher than mine. His talent is over the mountain tops. Unbearable. Ugh.

Then... Sudden freedom of choice and speech and act and everything. I quit the High school; I always loved math and science, but I was actually overfed with it by that time.
Several years of fire spinning, and by all means that was my long-awaited first successful peer socializing. There was a long time when every god blessed day I was at the square, learning new tricks, teaching new tricks, getting to know more and more new people, of whom many became a big part of my life and myself.
That was just the beginning, though. I played in a band with guys from the high school, we had gigs even, and it was an amazing feeling to see a HUNDRED of my friends in the club all at once. Literally everyone I knew and loved, and then some more. That cannot be adequately described. I'll tell more about the band in the future postings, for sure.

When I was 20 my dads (how should I call them collectively, at last! anyone?) gave in to their addiction and drank heavily for half a year. It became impossible to converse, to ask them to be quiet when I sleep, the apartment stunk with alcohol. I tried to hold on. A sudden feat of rage, a short violent fight - and I have nowhere to live. A taxi, all my stuff in the boot, gone to the first man agreeing to give me a shelter at 2 a.m. Cold bloody December. Minus 29 Celcius, I recall.

I was pretty stubborn. We sorted it out a couple months later in a pub near Dad's home, but I never returned, we never lived together again. It just didn't happen for various reasons. What's important is that we (me and my dad) didn't become colder to each other, we still love each other very much. It all passed quickly.

So by the summer I lost everything. I had no home, I lost my job (those two combine cruelly in a big city), I break up with a girl whom I loved and who disappointed me completely (never made it easier), I had to quit a very very cool band I played for since I had no spare resources. I was broke and broken.

But nothing held me in the city any more. And here I stop, for everything that happened from then on needs its own dedicated entry.
I'll write them here, on everything2, in English. Maybe that'll be translated into my mother tongue later, but I shall start here.

I have really much to say.