First notable recall - in-line skating for the first time in S. neighborhood of the city M.
A big park just near the fourteen-stories apartments house. Ours on fifth.
A river in the park, named same as the city - M.
I was eight or nine years old... Nine. Yes. It was July, warm summer evening.
Next... A thrash-metal record in a Walkman, in bed after lights were off. Walkman borrowed from my mom, record - taken without asking permission. Strange that she liked it someday, they don't fit in my head - she and this band.
It frightened me and excited me. It was unexpected. I liked it.
Needless to say I wanted to produce sounds like these. Now I (to a great degree) can. I outgrew the band, maybe, but not the timbre. Today I am drawn towards more intricate constructions and compositions. And today I can understand and appreciate the lyrics. I play guitar since I was 14, now I've five guitars and a year salary's worth of audio equipment in my home. I am almost exclusively self-taught in music and pretty good at it. And I married a woman who plays everything and sings like a siren. Yeah, that record directed my life pretty much.
But back onto the timeline. At seventeen I quarreled with my mother to death. We always quarreled cruelly, I was always beaten up, shouted at and forever punished, nothing new here. But this time I had a place to run. I met my Dad that summer after seven years of his absence - not his will this was, which I never doubted. So I gave mom a chance, she blew it up and I quit. That was a major, drastic change.
It turned out my Dad lived with a guy, whom I pretty much dislike. Their relationship never bothered me, it's just that everybody dislikes him for his temper and loves him for his kind soul. A big kid. His destiny much harsher than mine. His talent is over the mountain tops. Unbearable. Ugh.
Then... Sudden freedom of choice and speech and act and everything. I quit the High school; I always loved math and science, but I was actually overfed with it by that time.
Several years of fire spinning, and by all means that was my long-awaited first successful peer socializing. That was just the beginning, though. I played in a band, we even had gigs, and it was an amazing feeling to see a HUNDRED of my friends in the club all at once. Literally everyone I knew and loved, and then some more. That cannot be adequately described.
When I was 20 my dads (how should I call them collectively, at last! anyone?) gave in to their addiction and drank heavily for half a year. It became impossible to converse, to ask them to be quiet when I sleep, the apartment stunk with alcohol. I tried to hold on. A sudden feat of rage, a short violent fight - and I have nowhere to live. A taxi, all my stuff in the boot, gone to the first man agreeing to give me a shelter at 2 a.m. Cold bloody December. Minus 29 Celcius, I recall.
I was pretty stubborn. We sorted it out a couple months later in a pub near Dad's home, but I never returned, we never lived together again. It became impossible.
So by the summer I lost everything. I had no home, I lost my job (those two combine cruelly in a big city), I break up with a girl whom I loved and who disappointed me completely (never made it easier), I had to quit a very very cool band I played for since I was in no resources to spare. I was broke and broken.
But nothing held me in the city any more. And here I stop, for what was further needs a dedicated entry.
I'll write them here, on everything2.
I have really much to say.