That awful moment
when you realize that you are unimportant and dispensible
It tends to induce a sort of hollow feeling inside yourself. Of course its not like you ever expected to be welcomed into society with open arms; but it hurts to think that if you were gone tommorrow, it wouldnt take very long for your family and friends to get over it.
You find this out when you come home from a vacation or wake up after sleeping through the weekend. You have no e-mails, no one has called you and your goldfish died.
The fact that you are unimportant hurts more than it should. Maybe it's because you rely on people more than you'd like to admit. You find comfort in knowing that there are people out there who actually care about you.
It's a shame there isnt, and now you're left miserable and alone. Only now you know there isnt a reason to try not to be.