Sunday was Fathers Day. It seems strange to me, as "father" can
cover such a broad range of folk. From sperm donors, through deadbeat
dads to the "traditional" father figures, all the way to the modern
single dads doing it all by themselves. To bundle them all up under
one day of appreciation seems incongruous. They don't go together. The
deadbeat dads and the hard-working single dads, all appreciated
together, equally. That feels a little unjust.
I'm not a single dad, but sometimes it feels like it. Rightly or
wrongly, that's the way it's felt.
When it's been just myself and the baby, these have been the best
weeks in years. It rams home that I really have been doing it
almost all on my own. The weeks it's been just the two of us, it has
been easier rather than harder. I've only had to look after
the two of us. I haven't had to negotiate, step around the issues and
try so hard not to make her feel excluded.
This is so very, very hard and painful to admit.
I don't know what's left of us, and I don't know what the right thing
to do is.