My life is at Home

When this song comes on my old mp3 player, I scroll the repeat button and listen to Davey sing it over and over again.

I was just thinking most of last Wednesday, I hope we’re together from here until doomsday and we could be in each other’s arms. Keep each other free from harm. Because when it’s all stripped to the bone, my life is at home.
His raspy voice makes me think of you and how much we’ve both changed. I wonder how it is so easy for me to forget about my wasted potential while you lament yours. When it’s bedtime, I am all comfy in my pajamas and happy at the prospect of sleep, but you are still talking about how you didn’t get that great job and how you could be doing so much more. I remind you that you are so young. Things will change. You will feel useful soon. You are already achieving so much for someone your age. You don’t like this response. You don’t want to hear all the positives. The positives don’t change your mind.
Spring cleaning is coming, lose the cold weather. So put away your long johns and all the thick sweaters. And we’ll cut off all our winter hair and sit out on the lawn chairs. And as the sun forgets that we’re here, we forget our careers.

What makes it so that I can forget that I wanted a career? What makes it so that the silliest things make me happy. Things that I completely enjoyed this past week include: feeding a black bird who landed on my office window sill, watching Jeff Corwin let a huge octopus attach itself to his arm, how my new sweater is the exact color of mustard. All of these things made me stop and think about how happy I am with me, with the world, with you. Do you have these moments? Are they overshadowed by that nagging feeling that you aren’t living up to your potential? I hope not.

All the lukewarm weeks, at 60 degrees. Now we’re hoping it’s humid, show us what summer means. Once in a lifetime, once in a while, the sun will shine on me. It is Thursday, I’m leaving. Skip town, I’m running. Cars and new faces and jokes that aren’t funny, but we laugh at them anyway. Do anything to kill the day. No matter how far that I go, it’s not so far away.

And as the sun forgets that we're here, we forget our careers... because when it’s all stripped to the bone, my life is at home.