Right now, I am smoking
a cigarette. Camel Turkish Gold
, actually. It feels good. I enjoy smoking. But I know these impulses
will kill me. After this one, there are two left in my pack. I am going to smoke those, then...well, that's it. I'm quitting. I remember joking with a friend saying, "I can quit any time I want, I've already done it a dozen times." Well, this is it. The real deal. If I don't make it now, I don't know how much hope there is for me. This is it. God, I hope I can do this.
Even though I have been here for only a week or so, it already feels like home. I have never met a more amazing group of individuals in my life. My promise to myself, however, is this: if I ever smoke a cigarette, E2 will no longer be my browser's home page, and I will exile myself for a month. No Everything whatsoever. If that doesn't motivate me, then, well...I'm pretty much fucked. Wish me luck.