d00d. This node will undergo corrections when I learn to spell correctly. I'm sure half your handles are incorrect.

When I told my roommates where I was going on Saturday (they are familiar with E2), one of them said, "You do realize that this is an elaborate lure to rape you, right?" Well, the way I figured it, if you guys are going to node a million things just to rape me, well... I'm flattered and really would like to be raped by you.

So I got up, feeling like shit, popped a couple of Tylenols and took an 80-minute drive to Igloowhite's house. I was supposed to be clearing my head on the drive, but it ended up more of me asking several Hispanic gentlemen, "Excuse me, where can I find _____ Blvd?" They looked at me in askance and I repeated, "_____ Blvd?" No clue. I spontaneously forgot every ounce of the four years of Spanish I had taken in high school. Anyway, I got there and was immediately humped by Igloo's dogs, Saxon and... ah, dammit, I forgot the other one's name. It was a shaggy black dog of medium size.

Ah, my stunning prose. You can picture it all in your head, can't you? Why was I gifted with such eloquence?


I met Quizro, JasonM, Kenata, and SEF. SEF was meeting other noders for lunch (something I still don't quite understand) so she left after telling me I looked exactly like she thought I would. I thought, "Oh my god, did I put on the bullet-hole-infested straitjacket again?" It turns out I didn't. So I have no idea what she meant.

Later on, WolfDaddy and C-Dawg showed up, representing Santa Barbara like two, pardon the French, badass motherfuckers. Akasha woke up. I asked if any noders were hiding around back inside. I was told they weren't, so that made me feel all the more paranoid. Chras4 and her husband showed up, bringing with them all the alcohol an underage drinker like me could want. Things started getting blurry then (not due to the alcohol, dammit).

I'm probably messing up the order of the arrivals now, but I'll try anyway. Eraser_ showed up, after being delayed in an I-10 traffic jam. RoninSpoon + SO arrived, sporting an EDB t-shirt that was apparently on sale in the last month.*

* RoninSpoon was wearing the t-shirt, not his significant other. I mean, she was wearing a t-shirt too! Just not the EDB one. I'd have loved to go to a party where random women weren't wearing clothing.

Umm, let's see... fuzzy and blue and her friend, who I believe has noded a little or is at least familiar with E2, arrived. Her friend could juggle like a motherfucker. I have no idea what "juggling like a motherfucker" really means, but it sounds like the right thing to say. SEF and party finally came back. The party was Ourboros, conform, and bindlenix. (I can't remember if there was anyone else). Fellow UCLA bruin exceptinsects paid us a visit. Ælien and his friend (whose handle I can't think of) came. Igloowhite, Quizro, and Akasha brought back tamales. They were good. Akasha, I think, went for some All Spice for the pumpkin bread she was baking. For some reason, I thought she had gone to get Old Spice. I don't know why.

Misuba showed up sometime in the middle. Ocelotbob brought Panamaus. Factgirl showed up and Sparkleface came a little later. Riverrun came much later in the night so I barely had a chance to introduce myself before I left (and I assure you, it was entirely my loss). So, enough about the boring details. You know the rest of the routine - we got drunk, talked, and realized we're all too much like each other. Yeah, we even discussed median node-fu. So...

Private Messages Made Public (and some Impressions):

  • Igloowhite: you rule, man. Your house is like... awesome. d00d! It was so nice that I don't think I could ever sleep in it. Really. That and the fact that all that wood in there makes me feel like I'm on a pirate ship about to capsize because here comes a large wave... AAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAH! Thanks for inviting us over, Igloo. It was a real pleasure to meet you - you are as urbane and witty as your nodes (take THAT as you will ;-)!
  • SEF: you remind me too much of my mom. Knock it off! And what's with all this wisdom? It was great meeting you finally. I hope you don't miss LA too much. If you want, I can package some air smog and mail it to you.
  • Wolfdaddy: you have a great sense of humor. I wish I am as comfortable with who I am as you are with yourself. I'm glad I got to meet you.
  • C-Dawg: you're very quiet. It scares me. It's like you're the dark lord planning bitter, bitter revenge on every one of us. I like the way you think! SB represent!
  • Quizro: ah, yes, the man who thought I was of an entirely different racial makeup. That's beautiful. Quizro, you've got an awesome sense of humor. And then there are your profound thoughts. Why don't women whip out their boobies in the chatterbox? I'm going to write my thesis on that. What's that? Computer science major? HA! I'll write one, dammit!
  • Ælien and friend: didn't get to talk to you guys much since you looked so much cooler than me and I was intimidated. I don't see either of you in the catbox much so I'll be sure to go on IRC more often and keep up with some noders I don't know so well.
  • Chras4: you remind me of my mom too. I'll do my homework - I promise! I already did tomorrow's assignments before I started work on this, see? I didn't realize you just had your birthday, so a belated happy birthday. =)
  • JasonM: you're a very careful person. From talking with you, I know you have a lot of great ideas about the site, so maybe you should talk to someone high up about them. I think some of them would be great.
  • Roninspoon: dude, you scared the hell outta me. With that leather jacket and all, I expected you to be this big bad pro wrestler who was gonna piledrive me on the I-5. Yes, I'm too skinny. I know. Don't tell me to eat meat - I'm vegetarian. (Not that I care anymore, but my body just isn't used to it so I can't just start eating it.)
  • Exceptinsects: you're a UCLA Bruin. You, by definition, rock.
  • Eraser_: aaah! You're way quiet, but in a sneaky Mr. Burns kind-of way. I think you and C-Dawg were up to something. That's okay; I know where you live. I know where ALL of you live!
  • Ourboros: thanks a lot for the cards. I haven't read much of your work but I've been looking it up and I've been finding that you write just as well as you talk. I'm very glad to have met you - maybe I'll visit your friend's game store in the Bay Area when I come by next time.
  • Misuba: the king of Icehouse. Bow to him. Revel in his glory. REVEL, DAMMIT! REVEL IN IT, I SAY!
  • Bindelenix: one of those people I wish I could've talked to more (well, that is basically everybody). She has the most interesting handle origin I can think of. /me adds her to a list of people to look up and talk to online.
  • Conform: see above. He talked about E2 and the XP system which was way cool. He knows what he's doing so if anyone is looking to promote dudes in edev, there's one. End plug. Where's my crack, dude?
  • Sparkleface: unfortunately, I don't think I introduced myself to her. So... uhh, hi. I'm really sorry about that... I have that problem around girls. Especially pretty ones. =) (I'm hoping that helps me avoid getting a bad place in her writeup.)
  • Factgirl: you seem like a very very genuine person. In most cases, that's a bad thing, but not in yours. Say hi to me if you ever see me in the catbox or IRC; I'd love to get to know you better. And I'll remember what you said about nodevertising in IRC ;-)
  • Fuzzy and blue and friend: first of all, your handwriting is just SICK, fuzzy. SICK. Second, you ALSO remind me of my mom. No, I don't have an Oedipal complex. Really. You are the proud owner of the best line of the gathering - "Templeton's NOT Baby Jesus!" Your friend (I remember his real name, so... Peter) has mad juggling skillz! He should work in Vegas. Screw that whole computer science and math thing.
  • Panamaus: I didn't even directly talk to him until near the end. But I did listen a lot and you're a very cool dude... uhh, d00d. I'm kind of running out of words with which to describe everyone, without going back to the same terms. I'm no Igloowhite of prose, but anyone who has enough love of the E2 community to fly down from Florida is more than all right, in my opinion.
  • Ocelotbob: nice "RMU" ;-) Explain to me again why we didn't follow Spackle's instructions and blow the joint up?
  • Akasha: you have baked the best pumpkin bread I have ever eaten. Ever. Yes, I've only eaten one. But it was damn good. Good luck with your new major. Send me some links of your work!
  • Riverrun: I just had time to say hi to you before I left. My apologies - I have heard a lot of great stuff about you and I have had the pleasure of reading some of your nodes and they were, quite simply, amazing. I have 3 monkeys and 2 typewriters (one I stole from Igloo's house). Could you /msg me and tell me how many years it would be before they can replicate your work by typing randomly? That's the only way I'm getting that good, by using them.

"So, d00d, did you get raped?"
"How was it?"
"Best raping I've ever had."
"Can I go next time?"
"Sure, but I call shotgun on any furry animals in there."