Well, my last cigarette was now consumed 27 1/2 hours ago. It hasn't been easy...especially seeing as there are seven left in my last packet. That really surprises me actually...that I could quit, without finishing the packet. The last couple of times I've tried to quit, I waited until I'd finished the packet. Told myself 'no, you don't need to buy another'.

Now after 27 1/2 hours, it's still not easy... But I think I can do this. And I know...that there's a person out there, who I care about deeply...and she's proud of me. That makes all the difference.

My little band is starting to grow. Doug, (the guitarist I've been singing with), and I, got together with a drummer last night. It was great - for the first time, it's looking like we might actually go somewhere. Not that I'm looking at conquering the world - or even my own town. But it feels great to think that there's a good chance we'll get to perform these songs we've written live, to real people. Rob was great. He seems like a really nice guy, and was pretty damn good on the drums. I'd have been happy to say to him, then and there, 'you're in, if you want to be'. However, we've got another drummer / bass player combo to have a look at yet. I'm not too confident that they'll work out...on meeting them, to give them a roughly recorded cd of the songs we've written up to now, they seemed arrogant...I can see them wanting to take control. I've always wanted to be in a band that operated in a democratic fashion - I don't think democracy is how these two operate. I guess we'll just have to wait and see...

So for now, I guess I just keep writing songs, playing my guitar (as best I can!), and generally anything to keep my mind away from heading out the back, and lighting up. I can't wait for a couple of weeks to be up, so I can see if my singing voice improves, if I can actually make some more progress, and nail the tricky things that trip me up now.

The only reason I've gotten this far, is that I know I don't have to do this alone.