l33t h4x0r who writes for Something Awful. Has atrocious spelling. Likes to call people "fagots" or "smarty man". Hates Unreal, Nali Healing Fruit, Regis Philbin and AMD, likes Quake 3, ninjas, and cyclops who fire laser beams out their eyes. Worships John Carmack, Crispan Antcow, and American Superhero Paul Steeve.

Amusingly enough, most people can't figure out that he's not a real person, but rather a figment of the site creator's imagination, and so they flame him mercilessly for his stupid comments.