So, I was sitting there in the cafeteria with my friends. Lunchtime was upon us, and I was excited at the prospects of opening up my delicious Cosmic Brownie and feasting upon it. I tore open the cellophane wrapping and looked down. Disgust spread across my face. What did I see to change my manner thus?

NUTS.

In MY Cosmic Brownie? How could this be? How could my favorite of snack foods betray me so? I snatched up the packaging and searched for the telephone number of the Little Debbie company. Finding it, I rushed to the school office and requested the use of the telephone.

"Is it important?"
"Oh yes."
I called up Little Debbie and informed them of this... travesty.

"Alright. I'll need your address. We'll send you a check for the brownie."
"Thank you very much. Have a nice day!"
\ "Wait! One more thing."
"What?"
"We also need the serial number of the brownie from the package."
"Why?
"Well, if the rest of that batch of brownies was also tainted, we'll need to put out a recall on them."

And I rest a little easier, knowing that I have saved countless others from the horror of opening up a delicious Cosmic Brownie only to find a.... perversion of a magnificent snack treat.