It gets closer and closer to becoming a fait acompli that I will leave Germany at the end of this year.
For reasons ranging from a general dislike of Germans and their culture to a strong desire to pursue a relationship with Anna and a passionate love of Italy to the fact that it appears unlikely that my job will give me more hours anytime soon, my time in this wretched land of rain and wurst, high train fares and long lines at Aldi.

To be honest since I made the decision to leave I have been far more centred and at peace with myself. I mean what am I doing here. I would have never come here in a million years had it not been for K. and now that that bitch is gone from my life I am in a hurry to leave her country behind me as well.

I put together a CD for Anna, which she liked. I make a lot of CD’s but never before has anyone seemed to appreciate them as much as she does. It’s a nice feeling.
Here’s the track list (all the lyrics are noded).

All I WantJoni Mitchell
Box of RainGrateful Dead
Dear DoctorRolling Stones
Look at MeJohn Lennon
Anything But MePhish
IsolationJohn Lennon
Victim Or The CrimeGrateful Dead
GodJohn Lennon
Simple Twist of FateBob Dylan
DriftingTrey Anastasio
Theme From The BottomPhish
Nobody Loves You (When You’re Down and Out)John Lennon
Oh SisterBob Dylan
Let It BleedRolling Stones
I Will Take You HomeGrateful Dead
Mexicojames Taylor
RippleGrateful Dead
Save MeAimee Mann

In other news I made a nice 235-euro profit just by going to the bank the other day. With the euro so strong, buying dollars has become cheap. I bought $2000 and it only cost me 1765 euros. Nice. With this cash I am completely paying off a $1300 student loan, something I have been wanting to do since last year and have put off and put off again. Now it’s done and I feel like I’ve really accomplished something. In practical terms it means $50 a month less in bills. If things work out I’ll pay another $1600 loan off at the end of the year before going to Italy. I plan on arriving there with the same 5000 euros in savings I left the country with back in January of 2001. Not bad. A years worth of living, some student loans paid off, a new stereo system, ganja every day (more or less) for the past 17 months and three trips to America all covered.

That’s what I like. Break even! I recently saw The Last Waltz and that was one of the things that struck me by a member of The Band. His simple desire to break even in this life and have a great time along the way.

So I’m looking forward to going back to Torino on the 29th. It’ll be the second time in a month.
Then in July I’m going to the USA for nearly a month. Going to Chicago to see the family. Going to see Quinn The Eskimo. Going to see Phish five times and The Dead and bob Dylan too. Then in August I’m going to London for a night to see Ratdog. Not a bad summer. Then I’ll give my notice on September 1st for my house (weird German 3-month notice rule) and soon after give my notice at the job.

The only thing that might prevent me from departing in January would be a full time job and the 48,000-euro that would come with it. For that I would stick around another 6 months to a year to pay off a few more loans and have a few more bucks in my pocket for when I do blow this Bratwurst stand.

Furthur! As the bus comes by and I get on.