Stay hard for 45 minutes or more!
Stay young!
I'm Candy and me and my girlfriends are naked 24 hours a day!
Doctor approved!
Hello, friend. I am Professor John Mimbuto...
Get out of debt!

If my faith in Mankind is tested daily, then SPAM mail is my personal pop-quiz.

To the best of my knowledge, I have been a very hard person to track down and yet SPAM mail finds me wherever I go. I can run from the IRS, I can disappear from my family's radar without a second thought, I can hide from the cops at a moment's notice... even the FBI, CIA and NSA might find me a difficult person to track... but SPAM is like a shadow which trails me night and day, impossible to shake and often noticed at the most awkward of times.

I have had:

  • 25 different mailing addresses (3 in Los Angeles, 1 in Del Mar, 1 in Solanas Beach, 7 in Hendersonville, 5 in Nashville, 1 in Portland, 2 in Bowling Green, 1 in Hemmingway, 3 in Dallas and 1 in Winston-Salem).
  • 20 different phone numbers.
  • 3 different names.
  • 2 different Social Security numbers.
  • 3 different driver's licenses.
  • If I was to, somehow, wake up with amnesia, then I suspect that I would end up spending a very long time indeed looking for myself.

    But SPAM mail can nail me right between the eyes on any day of the week.

    Yes, I know that most SPAMMERS are arbitrary, completely unaware of who actually gets their messages.

    I'm just annoyed.