All right. So the day's over. Let me first thank, from the bottom of my heart, the following people for wishing me a happy birthday:

Lord of Nothings
Bitca (who called via phone- bless her)

For the most part, my birthday predictions were spot-on. Here's the things which I went off-field with:

I didn't actually spend any time with my family, but I did get an email from my parents, a phone call from my sister (who was enroute to a trip with her husband) and a phone call from my older brother.
I did not get a free meal from Cafe Coco, but I did manage to get a free cup o' joe.
I did not chip a tooth.
I did not read my horoscope.
I smoked cigarettes, though not much.
I did not shave.
I didn't get much- just a card, a kiss and some well-wishes/"Happy Birthday" comments- but somehow expected more.

Everything else went exactly as I expected it to. I saw Shrek 2 alone. I went to the cafe. I didn't work. I slept in. I drank coffee... the whole shebang, pretty much. Most of the daylight hours were spent alone. In all honesty, I really, really, really didn't want to be alone on my 31st birthday... which was why I ended up at the cafe: because I refuse to go to bed early, lonely and depressed.

So I got to the cafe and hung out a bit with a chick I've been pseudo-seeing for a few weeks now. We just talked and I sat and watched her be a coward all night long until she decided that she was tired (and depressed) and needed to go home and get some sleep. I then bumped into a friend and he and I went to George's to go play some pool... and I was merciless, the poor kid. I was so sore at the way my day had gone that he didn't even stand a chance.

When we got back to the cafe I was left alone, again, and whiled some time away with a crossword book. After an hour or so of that, I realized that I had a headache and elected to go home. On my way out the door, the roommate of the chick I've got a huge crush on was in line, waiting to get coffee. She stopped me and chit-chatted a bit, found out that today was my birthday and asked me if I wanted a birthday kiss. I took exactly two seconds to think about and said that, yes, I wanted that very much.

So she kissed me and I enjoyed it- the first kiss I've had in two years. No tongue. I'm beginning to get really fed up with this whole chastity thing, lemme tell you. We both enjoyed the kiss and I would swear to you that if I had said the word, she would have come home with me... and I gotta say, I was sorely tempted to say that word.

But winning a "charity fuck" would've just made my birthday ten times more pathetic than it already was, so I declined (and she offered!). So here I sit, home alone (as predicted) and ready to hit the sack in an empty bed, with a headache and a serious contempt for my so-far chaste lifestyle.

Happy Birthday... to me.