These are the things I have been (in no particular order):
Pizza delivery driver
Radio DJ
Bouncer at a strip club
Y2K Compliance Specialist
Computer technician
Senior Web and Graphics Designer for a media promotions company
Freelance web designer
Student
Unit trainer at a fast-food restaurant
Table busser and host
Waiter
Retail salesman
Door-to-door salesman
Movie theater projectionist
Writer/poet/novelist
Chief Editor of a magazine
Landscaper
Hacker
Construction worker/laborer
Book store manager
Convenience store clerk
3D modeller
Roadie
Actor
Sound technician
Transport chief for a syndicated talk show
Movie theater usher/concessionist
Concert concessionist
Tomorrow morning at 9 AM I will be able to add "Butler" and "Personal assistant" at a Bed and Breakfast to that list.
When I wrote down the list of all the things I've done over the years for the woman who interviewed me she read it over and said, "I do believe I've found the right person. You're qualified across six different areas. How's your punctuality?"
"Sporadic," I answered, "but I always get the job done in a timely fashion and when I'm going to be late it's usually for a good reason and I always call ahead. I am also extremely good at taking orders- both literally and figuratively."
She nodded. "Can you cook?"
"I burn water," I answered promptly. It's only true. Well, not completely true. I can cook a few dishes quite well, but I'd really rather not. I'll cook if I have to, but only then. "But I've been told that I can make a mean pot of coffee. And I'm no stranger to various and sundry teas."
"Not a problem. I do most of the cooking anyway. That you can make good coffee speaks well of you. How are your combat and driving skills?"
"I've had two tickets for speeding when I was a teenager- cured me of that quick- and a few tickets for driving on expired tags. In the area of combat skills, I've got six years of Tai Chi. I've learned a few tid bits of aikido, kung fu, hap-kido and judo. And I can point out about six areas of risk for the security in this house, after the short tour you gave me." I named them.
She smiled. "Twelve dollars an hour to start. No benefits until we are certain that the working relationship is sound. If we get to that point, we up your pay to fifteen an hour with health and life benefits. Maybe dental."
I nodded. "Understood. I accept."
"Good. Come in tomorrow morning at nine. Here's some documentation on the house's history and its layout. I have a good feeling about this, Jay. You might just be the right man for the job."
I accepted that graciously. "I certainly hope so," and left.
Another life begins tomorrow. I wonder what I'll learn in this one?
Anyway... here's where it gets "movie-ish" (and woefully complicated): I have a crush/strong attraction to my soon-to-be boss' daughter, have for a long time. Even wrote a recent daylog regarding this young woman. And there is a strong possibility that this attraction is not just one-sided (I have only recently learned this). It was this young woman who put me in touch with her mother, which has eventually led up to gainful employment.
Egad. The down-and-out, man-of-the-world, sophisticated and mildly cultured butler of a relatively rich and prosperous woman falls for her daughter. Can one's life get any more cliche than that?