You're sitting in a theater, listening to Movie Tunes and blithely answering all those silly questions they pose on the slide projector, sitting alone or chatting about nonsense with a movie companion or two. You glance at your watch and, right on time, the lights dim and the audience hushes. You watch the screen raptly and see, "The PREVIEW you are about to see is for a movie that has been rated PG-13 by the American Picture Association," bypassing the mundane Fire Marshall's warning, which drive you nuts and you already know by heart anyway. The music cues in, something dark and ominous, and a low gravelly voice reaches into the depths of your soul in an effort to inspire foreboding.
"In a world..."
(oh, god, not another one of those...)
"...where life seems perfect..."
(i'd be oh so much happier if you guys would throw something new at us)
"...In a time..."
(i have to sit through five minutes of this cryptic crap?)
"...when things seemed simpler..."
(this is going to be the movie adaptation of Clan of the Cavebear, isn't it?)
Comedienne Janeane Garofalo has a bit about this in her stand-up comedy act. It seems that every movie trailer these days starts out with, "In a world..." and doesn't it just seem kinda boring by now? Couldn't they change things up a bit? Just once I'd like to hear, "On a spherical globe comprised of nickel, iron, lead and a whole bunch of other periodical elements that we would rather not list..."
Could we somehow petition Hollywood to use the left sides of their brains for once?