I spoke with two friends of mine yesterday, about a very bad thing which was committed. The whole fiasco is truly none of my business, so I've decided not to get directly involved- as a friend, I can only offer good things and time to listen. I offer kindness to all parties, who are in several different kinds of emotional turmoil. What was done was idiotic, cruel, thoughtless and consequential- and the reprecussions will be felt by all parties involved for a long, long time to come in ways unseen or imagined.
One of the transgressors (two were involved in this emotional crime) has a lot of things to think about- at the top of the list is "What do I do next?" I suggested doing what was right for them- and making damn sure that whatever that entailed wasn't going to cause more grief. I hope I made it clear that, while not surprised, I'm definitely disappointed in this friend. I hope they make the right decision.
One of the transgressed (yet again, two were involved) aired their grievance rather smartly- and I don't blame them one, tiny bit for their outrage. What was done shouldn't be experienced by anyone- ever. This person needs a hug in the worst way imaginable. Hugs are good, even if a little foolish sometimes. Hugs don't solve the problems, but they provide solace and understanding sympathy in ways that words cannot. If anyone knows this person and is able to, give them a deep, gentle, loving, tender hug and tell them that, eventually, they will know love in the way that suits them best. I know this well; I saw it on their face when I met them just over a month ago. A year, maybe a tad more, and life will take incredible turns for the better. It will happen. I know it bears little solace to read this now, if you're reading, but in time you'll be spinning with joy and elation. Just as all good things must come to an end, they also have a beginning. Your fresh beginning awaits you, when you're ready to meet it.
To the OTHER who has been transgressed: My friend, my heart goes out to you. I'm not sure if you saw it coming or were surprised by it, but I know that you could not have been pleased. Perhaps you'll handle it a little better than your counterpart- for reasons only you know. I pray that you deal with aplomb. You're a good person, at heart, and I know that you'll not let this kill you inside. Then again, perhaps some part of you had already died long before this occurred. Live once again, my friend. You need a hug, too.
To the other transgressor: If you need to bend an ear, I've got two big ones. This is a monumental screw-up and there's absolutely no chance in hell of making it right- except to learn from it and not make the same mistake twice. We don't know each other hardly at all, but I'm offering myself as a person to gripe at or talk with if you need to.
To all: You deserve love (not the romantic type, either), patience (with yourselves), compassion (for others) and time (to heal). I hope you all get it in your own ways and at your own pace.
Nothing grates on my nerves more than seeing friends at odds with one another. I know that people often times err and there is no way to rectify the mistake- that is perfectly natural. People can be brilliant and, sometimes, brilliantly foolish. First rule to remember in life, when things are about as fucked up as can possibly be imagined: To err is human.
You're human beings and with that comes all kinds of crazy shit that can't be expected. There's 6.3 billion of us on this planet and even though we're all individuals, it is virtually impossible for us to be alone- ever. You can't NOT be human. You're unique, just like everyone else. Treasure that, for better or for worse. To embrace animosity for your fellow humans is to deny your membership in the human race.