Episode #501: Scott Tenorman Must Die
Air Date: July 11th, 2001
Special Guest: Radiohead
Comedy Central Synopsis: In "Scott Tenorman Must Die," Cartman gets pubic hair. But Cartman doesn't get just any pubes; he buys some from one of the older kids at South Park Elementary, Scott Tenorman. Cartman wants to show the other boys that he can be the first kid in the fourth grade with this mark of manliness, until everyone tells him that pubes don't count unless he grows his own. Cartman seeks wicked revenge on Scott Tenorman when he won't give him his money back.
Neuromantic's Review/Extended Synopsis: This is, without a doubt, the funniest episode in recent memory. Scott yanks Cartman around for the entire episode, bilking him out of more money, sending him on a one-way bus trip, and humiliating Cartman infront of the whole town. Cartman's final revenge is among the most twisted, machiavellian, ingenious plots I have ever witnessed. Cartman tells Stan and Kyle that he will combine two of his previous plans (a dick biting pony, and embarrassment in front of Radiohead), to finally punish Scott. Since it's well documented that Stan and Kyle hate Cartman, the boys tell Scott of the plot. Cartman then shows up at Scott's door, to tell him that he's won a free pony ride at a "Chile Con Carnival" chile contest. After Cartman leaves, Scott tells his parent about a starving mis-treated pony at the South Park ranch. Scott bilks his parents into going to save the pony, and meanwhile cooks up a big pot of pube-filled chile. Scott shows up at the Carnival, and he and Cartman sit down to eat the Chile: Scott with a bowl of Cartman's, and Cartman with a bowl of Scott's. After eating the whole bowl, Cartman reveals that he really ate Chef's chile, and that the pubes were safely disposed of. He then reveals that he had expected Scott to send his parents after the pony. He also reveals that the rancher is known to shoot tresspassers on sight. Cartman showed up to see the police arrive, and of course...., to take the bodies. In a twist straight out of Greek Myth, Cartman tells Scott that the chile he made was cooked with the meat of his parents. As Scott breaks down and cries, Radiohead (Scott's favorite band, who thought they were coming to visit a child with ass cancer) show up, and ridicule him for being a crybaby. Cartman is a genius.