Feeling like I'm drowning in a sea of my own confusion.

The person who was the most important in the whole world, a girl of course, has suddenly reappeared in my life, totally recreated. I look at her and I feel what I once felt for her, in the back of my head, like a dull blade cutting at my emotions.

It turns out she wants a relationship again. I don't know how to respond, she breaks up with her boyfriend, who she was engaged to, then flips around to me instantly. I have missed her a lot over the last year, since we disappeared slowly out of each others lives. We didn't even officially break up, truth be told I don't know how exactly it happened, but I think we were drifting because we realised we wanted different things from life.

My brain tells me no, but my heart pleads to be hurt again, as I know will be the end result.

I have quietly kept up with her life, thanks to the evil beast that is livejournal, and heard all her stories, and I know for sure that the person she is now, is nothing like the one I loved, she has grown, probably for her own good, but not into the kind of girl I could see my self with, or trust.

But still the happy memories tear at me.