How to Host a Dungeon: Welcome to the Campaign

<Nemosyn> Welcome to the new campaign. I’ve drawn up your character sheets, here we are… right, Stasik, that’s you… npecom, yours… Zephronias… no, sorry, that’s RedOmega’s, here’s yours Zeph. RedOmega, this one is for you.

<Zephronias> No, this is RedOmega’s, look at the name.

<Nemosyn> Ah, yes, that’s definitely your character. You’re playing RedOmega.

<RedOmega> And I’m playing Zephronias?

<Nemosyn> Yes, that’s right. Try to keep that straight, won’t you?

<Jet-Poop> Where’s my character sheet?

<Nemosyn> Oh, I’ve got it here. I’m not letting you see your character sheet at all.

<Jet-Poop> How am I supposed to—

<Stasik> Hey, this says I’m the DM!

<Nemosyn> Hang on Stasik – Jet-Poop, you make the rolls and I’ll tell you if they succeed. I’m sure you’ll figure it out.

<Stasik> But I’m the DM!

<Nemosyn> No, dear, I’m the DM. But your character is a DM.

<npecom> I have a question?

<Nemosyn> Too bad, it’s time to start….So, no shit, there you were. It was a balmy Thursday evening in suburban Australia and you were all seated around a table covered in dice and doughnuts. Stasik, the DM, was about to take you through a shiny new campaign. Now, do your characters know each other already?

<npecom> Does my character have an axe? I want my character to have an axe. A really big one, with wings carved into the notched and bloodied blade.

<Stasik> Hang on, so my character is a DM? And this campaign is… a campaign?

<Nemosyn> No, no axes, your character is a human in the real world playing a D&D campaign. But maybe your character can create a character with an axe? You’ll have to ask the DM.

<npecom> But you’re the DM!

<Nemosyn> No, dear, Stasik is the DM, keep up. RedOmega, do you know anyone here?

<RedOmega> Ah – yes, I’m friends with everyone.

<Nemosyn> Not you, RedOmega – Zephronias, you’re playing RedOmega. Does RedOmega know anyone here?

<Jet-Poop> How do I know if I know anyone?

<Nemosyn> Don’t worry, I’ll let you know if it’s relevant. Now that’s sorted, Stasik, is your character ready to start the campaign?