Guide to making a quieter computer

1) Turn off your computer. This will make it totally silent. However, this won't solve the problem forever.

2) Remove all cables, and place the computer in an open area with plenty of room.

3) Meditate for fifteen minutes, focusing all power into your muscles, utilizing the silent abstract construct of the mind.

4) Examine the computer closely, silently, taking in every niche and feature of it's exterior without touching it. The bottom will be out of sight, so you must keep it in your mind's eye.

5) Strike, drive first, with force. Use all physical advantages to overcome the calculating beast, including your weight to crush the tenuous metal. Let the silence of space, and the infinite thoughts of inertia that result to charge your being as you desecrate the church of frag.

6) Bask in silence.

If wharfinger had written it, it would've been cooled.